Where Relationships Can Fail...

Relationships can be one of the most rewarding aspects of life, providing love, companionship, and support. However, relationships can also be challenging, and many of them fail for a variety of reasons. Here are some common reasons why relationships fail:

  1. Lack of communication

Effective communication is crucial for the success of any relationship. When communication breaks down, misunderstandings can occur, and conflicts can arise. A lack of communication can also lead to feelings of resentment, which can erode the foundation of a relationship over time.

  1. Unresolved conflicts

Conflicts are a natural part of any relationship, but they can become problematic if they are not resolved effectively. When conflicts go unresolved, they can lead to feelings of resentment, anger, and frustration, which can damage the relationship.

  1. Different values and goals

If two people in a relationship have different values and goals, it can be difficult to maintain a healthy and happy relationship. It's important to be clear about your values and goals and to discuss them openly with your partner to ensure that you are on the same page.

  1. Lack of trust

Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. When trust is broken, it can be difficult to repair the relationship. Lack of trust can manifest in many ways, including infidelity, dishonesty, or lack of support.

  1. Different communication styles

People have different communication styles, and if they are not compatible, it can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts. It's important to understand your partner's communication style and to work together to find a way to communicate effectively.

  1. Lack of emotional intimacy

Emotional intimacy is the foundation of a healthy relationship, providing a sense of connection, support, and understanding. When emotional intimacy is lacking, the relationship can feel distant and unfulfilling.

In conclusion, relationships can be challenging, and many of them fail for a variety of reasons. Lack of communication, unresolved conflicts, different values and goals, lack of trust, different communication styles, and lack of emotional intimacy are all common reasons why relationships fail. By understanding these issues, we can work towards building healthy and fulfilling relationships that stand the test of time.

Infertility

Infertility is a common medical condition that affects many couples trying to conceive. It can have a significant impact on a person's mental health, leading to feelings of sadness, anxiety, and frustration. Dealing with infertility can be a complex and emotional process, but therapy can play a crucial role in helping individuals cope and find ways to move forward. Here are some ways therapy can help individuals dealing with infertility:

  1. Provides a safe space to discuss feelings and emotions

Dealing with infertility can be a highly emotional experience, often leading to feelings of sadness, anger, and disappointment. Therapy provides a safe and non-judgmental space to discuss these feelings and emotions, allowing individuals to process and work through their experiences.

  1. Helps individuals navigate complex medical decisions

Infertility treatment can involve complex medical decisions, such as choosing between different treatment options or deciding when to stop treatment. Therapy can help individuals navigate these decisions by providing support, guidance, and resources.

  1. Teaches healthy coping strategies

Therapy can help individuals develop healthy coping strategies to manage the stress and emotions associated with infertility. This can include techniques such as mindfulness, relaxation techniques, and cognitive-behavioral therapy.

  1. Offers ongoing support and guidance

Therapy offers ongoing support and guidance as individuals navigate the complex emotional and medical aspects of infertility. This can include regular sessions with a therapist, as well as access to additional resources and support groups.

  1. Improves communication and relationships

Infertility can place a significant strain on relationships, leading to communication problems and tension. Therapy can help individuals and couples improve their communication skills and develop healthy coping strategies, strengthening their relationships and helping them move forward together.

In conclusion, dealing with infertility can be a complex and emotional process. Therapy can play a crucial role in helping individuals cope and find ways to move forward by providing a safe space to discuss feelings and emotions, helping navigate complex medical decisions, teaching healthy coping strategies, offering ongoing support and guidance, and improving communication and relationships. If you or someone you know is struggling with infertility, consider reaching out to a mental health professional for support.

Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT)

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a form of couples therapy developed by Dr. Sue Johnson in the 1980s. The therapy is based on the premise that attachment is a fundamental human need and that individuals have an innate drive to form and maintain intimate connections with others. EFT is grounded in attachment theory and focuses on helping couples to identify and express their underlying emotions and needs in order to develop deeper and more meaningful relationships.

Dr. Sue Johnson is a leading expert in the field of couples therapy and is considered to be one of the foremost authorities on the science of love and relationships. She is a professor of clinical psychology at the University of Ottawa in Canada and has authored numerous books and articles on the topic of relationships and attachment. Her most well-known book, "Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love," has been translated into over 20 languages and has helped countless couples to improve their relationships.

EFT is a short-term therapy that typically consists of 8-20 sessions. The therapy focuses on three main stages:

  1. De-escalation: The first stage of EFT involves helping the couple to identify and de-escalate the negative patterns that are causing distress in their relationship. This involves identifying the negative cycles of interaction that the couple is caught in and helping them to understand how these cycles are perpetuated.
  2. Restructuring: The second stage of EFT involves helping the couple to restructure their interactions in a more positive way. This involves helping them to express their underlying emotions and needs more effectively and to develop new ways of interacting that promote connection and closeness.
  3. Consolidation: The final stage of EFT involves consolidating the gains made in therapy and helping the couple to maintain the positive changes in their relationship over time. This involves helping them to continue to communicate effectively and to stay connected emotionally.

EFT has been shown to be highly effective in improving relationships and reducing distress. Research studies have found that EFT is effective in treating a variety of relationship issues, including communication problems, infidelity, and attachment injuries. EFT has also been found to be effective in treating couples with a history of trauma or abuse.

Dr. Sue Johnson's contributions to the field of couples therapy have been immense. Her research and clinical work have helped to transform our understanding of the importance of emotional connection in relationships. Her approach to therapy has helped countless couples to develop stronger, more secure bonds with one another, leading to more fulfilling and satisfying relationships.

In conclusion, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a powerful and effective form of couples therapy that helps couples to develop deeper emotional connections and to overcome the negative patterns that are causing distress in their relationship. Dr. Sue Johnson's contributions to the field of couples therapy have been immense, and her approach to therapy has helped countless couples to develop more meaningful and satisfying relationships. If you are struggling in your relationship, EFT may be a powerful tool to help you and your partner find your way back to each other.

Dealing With Miscarriage & Infertility

"I remember the moment my husband and I decided to have kids. After 6 years of marriage, the puzzle pieces of our lives were finally falling together. I remember the two pink lines exactly two weeks later. I cried tears of joy. I planned to tell my husband, sister, best friends, mom, and in-laws… I let the love and attention wash over me. I remember his little heartbeat: quick and eager. He always measured 3 days ahead at every appointment. I remember the gender reveal. Blue dye stained my hands and my clothes for weeks. I remember his name. Cullen, after where my husband and I met. 

Then I remember the pain and the phone calls. Every day for a week I called. Every day for a week I was told it was normal. I remember, they said it was normal. Then I remember the Emergency Room and then the hospital room. And suddenly, I was holding my lifeless, 18-week-old child in my arms. 

In the months that passed I felt betrayed by my friends, by my body, and by God. I felt betrayed by the time that it had the nerve to keep ticking by. My desire to exist in a world where my baby could die, withered along with the condolence bouquets and my friendships. At some point you need to get over it, they said. So I put on a brave face and got over it. I got over it in front of my friends, my husband, my family, my students… But the second my body fell into my therapist's couch, I was not over it. 

There were sessions with my therapist in those early months where I would just sit and cry. All the anger, shame, and pain came out and were received with no judgment. In those early months, only she knew how I really felt as she helped me navigate how and why my relationships changed, what was my responsibility and what was not, what was in my control and what was not. 

2021 became 2022 we had yet to experience the two pink lines again. As friends and family announced their second and third pregnancies, I was trying to mourn my first while trying to achieve my second. “At least you know you can get pregnant” was a phrase I had stopped hearing in December as the reality of infertility was slowly taking away my hope.

 Consistently being in therapy has given me a place to organize all the thoughts in my head and separate the helpful ones from the harmful ones. In one powerful session, my therapist helped me make the decision to take the next medical step in my journey to become a mother. So, My Happy Ending is yet to be determined, but my Healthy During is cultivated through therapy."

~ Client

Infertility is a common medical condition that affects many couples trying to conceive. It can have a significant impact on a person's mental health, leading to feelings of sadness, anxiety, and frustration. Dealing with infertility can be a complex and emotional process, but therapy can play a crucial role in helping individuals cope and find ways to move forward. Here are some ways therapy can help individuals dealing with infertility:

In conclusion, dealing with infertility can be a complex and emotional process. Therapy can play a crucial role in helping individuals cope and find ways to move forward by providing a safe space to discuss feelings and emotions, helping navigate complex medical decisions, teaching healthy coping strategies, offering ongoing support and guidance, and improving communication and relationships. If you or someone you know is struggling with infertility, consider reaching out to a mental health professional for support.

ADHD

What is Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD? The shortest technical definition is that it is a treatable neurodevelopment disorder, which occurs in kids, teenagers, and adults. Now that we have that part out of the way, let's break this down a bit further and discuss the definition of neurology. Neurology is the branch of medicine that studies the treatments of disorders associated with the complex and sophisticated nervous system. This system regulates and coordinates the body's activities. It has two major parts of study; the brain and the spinal cord. When someone has ADHD, their brain has low levels of neurotransmitters. These transmitters (think worker bees) control the processing and sharing of information received from our senses. To put this in layman’s terms, picture yourself walking into a public library. Libraries are organized into sections based on the subject matter and then broken down by age, function, and genre. The brain works in a similar way because when information from our senses comes in, the brain identifies, catalogs, and assigns it to a place. When you have ADHD, you don’t have enough “workers” to properly do the job, so information gets incorrectly processed, jumbled, and categorized wrong.

Now that we know what ADHD is and the effect it can have on a person’s brain, we can move on to the types of symptoms and coexisting conditions that one might experience. As you read through these, keep in mind that you can experience all of them, some of them, or any combination of them. These symptoms represent the most common and they must occur frequently.

ADHD doesn’t cause other psychological or developmental problems, however, other disorders often occur or are exasperated by attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder. These are known as coexisting conditions. These can make the management and treatment of ADHD more challenging. These can include:

Whether or not you have recently received a diagnosis of ADHD, know someone who has, or are wondering if you might need to have an open and honest conversation with your doctor, we hope this post provides you with enough clarifying information to give you a solid head start. Don’t give up hope because a positive diagnosis doesn’t have to mean you can’t be successful in life. While it may make things more challenging and frustrating at times, there are a number of different treatments, such as meditation, medications, certain exercises, or even individual tools and strategies to help you be your best self.