"I remember the moment my husband and I decided to have kids. After 6 years of marriage, the puzzle pieces of our lives were finally falling together. I remember the two pink lines exactly two weeks later. I cried tears of joy. I planned to tell my husband, sister, best friends, mom, and in-laws… I let the love and attention wash over me. I remember his little heartbeat: quick and eager. He always measured 3 days ahead at every appointment. I remember the gender reveal. Blue dye stained my hands and my clothes for weeks. I remember his name. Cullen, after where my husband and I met.
Then I remember the pain and the phone calls. Every day for a week I called. Every day for a week I was told it was normal. I remember, they said it was normal. Then I remember the Emergency Room and then the hospital room. And suddenly, I was holding my lifeless, 18-week-old child in my arms.
In the months that passed I felt betrayed by my friends, by my body, and by God. I felt betrayed by the time that it had the nerve to keep ticking by. My desire to exist in a world where my baby could die, withered along with the condolence bouquets and my friendships. At some point you need to get over it, they said. So I put on a brave face and got over it. I got over it in front of my friends, my husband, my family, my students… But the second my body fell into my therapist's couch, I was not over it.
There were sessions with my therapist in those early months where I would just sit and cry. All the anger, shame, and pain came out and were received with no judgment. In those early months, only she knew how I really felt as she helped me navigate how and why my relationships changed, what was my responsibility and what was not, what was in my control and what was not.
2021 became 2022 we had yet to experience the two pink lines again. As friends and family announced their second and third pregnancies, I was trying to mourn my first while trying to achieve my second. “At least you know you can get pregnant” was a phrase I had stopped hearing in December as the reality of infertility was slowly taking away my hope.
Consistently being in therapy has given me a place to organize all the thoughts in my head and separate the helpful ones from the harmful ones. In one powerful session, my therapist helped me make the decision to take the next medical step in my journey to become a mother. So, My Happy Ending is yet to be determined, but my Healthy During is cultivated through therapy."~ Client
Infertility is a common medical condition that affects many couples trying to conceive. It can have a significant impact on a person's mental health, leading to feelings of sadness, anxiety, and frustration. Dealing with infertility can be a complex and emotional process, but therapy can play a crucial role in helping individuals cope and find ways to move forward. Here are some ways therapy can help individuals dealing with infertility:
In conclusion, dealing with infertility can be a complex and emotional process. Therapy can play a crucial role in helping individuals cope and find ways to move forward by providing a safe space to discuss feelings and emotions, helping navigate complex medical decisions, teaching healthy coping strategies, offering ongoing support and guidance, and improving communication and relationships. If you or someone you know is struggling with infertility, consider reaching out to a mental health professional for support.
What is clinical depression? In a nut shell, it is a mental health disorder or illness, which is characterized by persistently low moods, a constant sense of hopelessness or despair, and/or the loss of interest in daily activities for a period of at least two weeks or longer. Most symptoms occur on an almost daily basis.
• Fatigue or loss of energy almost daily
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
• Impaired concentration or indecisiveness
• Insomnia or excessive sleeping
• Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in activities
• Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide
• Significant loss of weight or weight gain
Clinical depression is a serious condition that can wreak havoc on our daily lives. Talk to your doctor, your therapist or even friends and family. You don’t have to go through it alone. a few things you can do to start the process towards managing and ideally vanquishing the darkness.
First, believe it or not, there are two comprehensive questionnaires called the Patient Health Questionnaires that you can find and complete online.
Developed by Dr. Spitzer, Dr. Williams, and Dr. Kroenke, the Patient Health Questionnaire provides a points-based question and answer format that allows you to determine the level of depression you may be suffering from. The initial questionnaire, also called the PHQ-2, has 2 questions and points scale of 0-
When completing the questionnaires, keep in mind that they were designed to be discussed and looked at with your doctor or therapist so that you can get clarity on the data, ask questions, and receive direction on the best ways to help you at your particular level.
Finally, as promised, here are some other ways to help with your journey to healing.
1) Journaling- when you’re exhausted, filled with body aches, and restlessness, the last thing you probably want to do is write. But here’s the thing, it doesn’t have to be every single day and it doesn’t need to be a novel. If all you can do at first is just write one word over and over again, that’s okay.
2) Eliminate pressure phrases, such as should, must, or have to. Slowly work on changing those negative thoughts into positive ones because putting yourself down is not going to help you feel better about yourself or your life. Be kind to yourself and give yourself grace.
3) Move, walk, practice smiling- it may feel odd, awkward, or even too hard at first, but the more you do it, the easier it gets.
Lastly, and most importantly, remember that you are not alone. As a matter of fact, you can even start journaling with “I am not alone”. Hugs and healing.
Depression is a common and serious mental health condition that can have a wide range of negative effects on your thoughts, behaviors, and overall well-being. It can be difficult to recognize depression in yourself, especially if you are used to feeling down or if you are trying to push through difficult emotions on your own. However, it is important to pay attention to your mental health and to seek help if you think you might be struggling with depression. Here are some signs that you might be experiencing depression:
If you think you might be experiencing depression, it is important to seek help. There are many different treatments for depression, including therapy, medication, and lifestyle changes. A mental health professional can help you determine the best course of treatment for your specific needs. Don't be afraid to reach out for help. Remember, you are not alone and there is no shame in seeking help for your mental health.